Message from the Zero Insurgency

  1. You cluster-bombed my mind with reluctant commas and other singularities.
  2. All your exclamation marks curled up into full stops at the moment of impact.
  3. Under elliptical bombardment, my consonants began laying down their glottal stops and fricatives.
  4. Your commas rained uneasy silence until all my question marks stopped smoking.
  5. Despite appeals for open dialogue, the consonants were all decapitated.
  6. My vowels have disguised themselves as zeroes and gone into hiding. They could be anywhere: in your bank statement or your spam folder, even in the carton of free-range zeroes in your fridge.
  7. Resistance will prevail.
  8. Researchers investigate the possibility of surreptitiously injecting a neurotoxin into your apostrophes.
  9. A comma is an apostrophe that has eaten from the Tree of Knowledge.
  10. The zero in ten just infected you.


One of those poems that was unlikely to find a home any time soon. Something of a response to Brisbane poet Nathan Shepherdson, who is appearing at the Queensland Poetry Festival this weekend.

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